A Memoir of a Mother’s Determination and Her Micro Preemie’s Struggle to Beat the Odds
IT’S BEEN 4 YEARS SINCE MY MICRO PREEMIE CAME HOME FROM THE NICU!
Today is a special day for our family. It’s difficult to believe that 4 years has already passed since that beautiful (and frightening!) day when Joy was released from the NICU.
She (actually all of us) has grown so much in the past few years and I’m not just talking about her size. Joy has become her own person. Obviously she was always her own person but she has developed her own personality. She tettertots between a princess (and she even wears a tiara on most days!) and a tomboy- as she plays with her three big brothers as if she were a knight or Jedi fighter. Although they always include her in their play, they also always treat her like the princess that she thinks she is.
Life has gotten dramatically busy this year, as her brothers are now engaged in more activities and sports, and even Joy started to take dance classes- which is why my writing has been reduced to a crawl. But a lot of the reason that I have not been writing very much is because we have all been healing. It took almost 4 years for it to happen, but we are all finally coming to terms with my life threatening pregnancy and death scares and Joy’s very early and very dramatic birth at 23 weeks gestation.
Her premature birth was caused by a condition called placenta percreta (a severe type of placenta previa)- a condition that caused my placenta (the organ that’s supposed to keep my baby safe and provide her with nutrients) to grow through my uterus and attach to both my bladder and bowels. It caused us both to almost lose our lives.
So, it was 4 years ago today (September 9, 2012) that my miracle micro preemie came home from the NICU. Joy Margaret Degl spent 121 days at Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital and grew from 11 ¾ inches and her preemie birth weight of 1 lb. and 4 oz. to her discharge weight of 7 lbs. and 9 oz.
A few days before her discharge, Joy had a choking episode which caused her to stop breathing and turn blue. Although I had just taken the infant CPR course offered by the hospital, I still froze when she choked. Joy’s nurse stepped in and got her to breathe again and I just watched. Because of this I took the infant CPR class again the next day!
September 9, 2012 was filled with mixed emotions. Of course we were all excited to have Joy come home and join our family, but we were also very nervous about the amount of special medical care and numerous appointments that our preemie may require. But most of all, I had gotten very used to the comfort of knowing that a doctor or nurse was always available to check on Joy and make sure that she was okay. That comfort was now being removed and I now had to rely on my husband and myself only. That was scary!
Joy would go on to have a visiting nurse come to our house 3 days a week to check her breathing and weight because she needed to avoid the germs at the regular pediatricians office. She began Physical Therapy and other various interventions which were all done at our home throughout the course of each day, as her brothers were sitting in school.
We needed to see the gastroenterologist on a biweekly basis because of her acid reflux and trouble with digestion. Joy was closely followed by a pediatric ophthalmologist because she was diagnosed with ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) and the list goes on, but let’s return to the feelings on discharge day- 4 YEARS AGO!
In addition to being nervous, I had become VERY close to many of the bedside nurses that took care of Joy. Most days involved me going to the hospital between 9 am and 3 pm, while the boys were in camp and then going back at night between 9 pm and 1 am again while the boys slept. Because of this, I got to know both the day and night nurses and I was going to miss them. That may sound strange, but these women became my social life. I knew more about which ones were redecorating their houses or what their children had for breakfast than I knew about my own friends and extended family. Now all of this was being taken away from me.
On the morning of discharge, Joy’s brothers were eagerly anticipating our arrival. My in-laws and my parents had helped them make beautiful signs and cards and helped them hang balloons both inside and outside of our home. It looked absolutely beautiful and it was a surprise to both my husband and me.
We were so blessed that Joy did not come home on oxygen or require any other medical equipment and she was returning home one week after her actual due date, just as if she were a regular newborn. One would never know the difference- unless you saw her daily medical and intervention schedule.
September 9, 2012 was filled with some laughing and crying, but mostly excitement about our future. After saying goodbye to our home of the last four months (the NICU), we entered a new phase of our lives in our actual home. Joy slept in her car seat during the entire trip home in the car and then for a little bit more when we got in the door. We put Joy’s car seat, with Joy asleep in it, on the dining room table after we got home and we all stood around it staring at her until she woke up. Joy was home and everything was as it should be!
The first 1-2 years post NICU is a big blur. I mostly remember the constant appointments and stress over hand sanitizing, limiting the visitors to our home, Joy’s 5 bouts of pneumonia (now it’s 8), and the fear of her not surviving her first year of life- or the thought that she may have so many developmental delays that she may never enjoy her life. But in the mix of all that, I have memory flashes of the first time she rolled over and crawled, the first time she walked (Christmas Eve 2013 at 19 months old), the first time she kissed me and how her brothers would hold her and sing to her.
Wow, our life today is so different than it was just 4 years ago!
Although Joy’s entrance into this world was such that I would not wish it on anyone else, I am so blessed that she entered just as she did. Since her birth my 3 boys have learned how to be compassionate and patient (although they slip from time to time like us all!), and I have found a new passion. I have begun to spread awareness about the realities of premature births and life with a preemie and very much enjoy speaking to and on behalf of premature babies and NICU families across the country.
In late October I’m honored to be speaking at the NANN (National Association of Neonatal Nurses) Conference in Palm Springs, CA and then I’ll be off to the PPA (Preemie Parent Alliance) Summit in Falls Church, VA.
Thanks for your support and for following Joy’s journey and my writing over the last 4 years!
We both thank you.